top of page

Types of Dominants Part 1

There are many different kinds of Dominants that you’ll encounter in the D/s lifestyle and, as you may well imagine, it’s rare that anyone will match an archetypal profile exactly. As is the case with any stereotype, the more you

know about an individual, the less they will seem to match any generalization. Here are a few of the wide range of what a Dominant can be.

The Sadistic Dom

A Sadistic Dominant is one who enjoys or becomes sexually aroused from

inflicting physical or emotional pain or discomfort upon his partners. Whether

or not his partner is a masochist (someone who enjoys pain) is usually irrelevant to the pleasure that a Sadistic Dominant gets from inflicting it. Within this category of Dominant, there is a wide spectrum of sadism that can range fromthe minimally sadistic yet skilled pain-inflictor on one end, to the abusive or

pathologically dangerous extreme sadist at the other end of the scale. For a pathological sexual sadist, the mere thought of causing someone permanent or crippling bodily harm or even death may actually be a turn-on. One should therefore always take great caution, especially when meeting or playing with a

sadistic Dominant for the first time, to attempt to learn what’s on his mind, and to protect yourself in the event that things start down a path that you did not anticipate. How badly can things go, if and when they do take a turn for the worse? For the answer to that question, consider the fact that some of the worst

serial killers in our nation’s history have been sadistic Dominants. Fortunately, there are quite a few simple steps that you can take to help ensure that your very first encounter with a sadistic Dominant (or for that matter, anyone that you may be meeting for the first time) is safe, sane, and consensual.

Clinically speaking, the general consensus of the medical professionals who happen to be in the business of psychoanalyzing and categorizing sexual deviancy is that there are four general classes of sexual sadists. They are:

The Class I Sexual Sadist is a person who has sexually sadistic urges, but

doesn’t act upon them. In a nutshell, he’s all about the fantasy.

The Class II Sexual Sadist is someone who acts upon his sexually sadistic impulses, but only does so with consenting partners. As sexual sadists go, this is good.

The Class III Sexual Sadist is someone who acts out his sexually sadistic impulses with non-consenting individuals, but does not want to seriously injure or kill them.

Class IV Sadist: A person who acts out his sexually sadistic urges with non-consenting individuals and does want to seriously injure or kill them.

Anyone who may be considering a play date or entering into a relationship with

a Sadistic Dominant is strongly advised to seek out one of the first two varieties,

rather than the latter two. Consent, in this lifestyle, is everything.

The Daddy or Mommy Dom

The Daddy Dom or Mommy Domme is typically a Dominant whose primary

mode of expressing himself in the D/s lifestyle is through a nurturing sort of

paternalism or maternalism. The relationship dynamic may involve sexual or

nonsexual age play, erotic or nonsexual spankings, incest role-play, and other

forms of role play. It is often erroneously assumed, both by people in and

outside of the D/s lifestyle, that Daddy or Mommy Doms harbor pedophilic

thoughts and tendencies. The truth is, Daddy and Mommy Doms are statistically

no more likely to be pedophiles than any other random sampling of the general

population. Daddy and Mommy Doms are not attracted to children; they are

attracted to adults who embrace their inner child and exhibit childlike behaviors,

which may or may not be sexual in nature. Consider this rather self-evident

observation: Daddy and Mommy Doms prefer adults who enjoy and are skilled

at expressing themselves in this dynamic because, frankly, actual children would be terrible at it.

For the sake of simplicity, we’ll henceforth dispense with the clunky practice of

referring to this category of Dominant as the Daddy or Mommy Dom, and just

call it what it is for the vast majority of the folks who comprise this particular

D/s subculture – the Daddy Dom. Just remember that anything we say about the

Daddy Dom probably applies equally to Mommy Dommes, as well. Most Daddy Doms find fulfillment in the relationship dynamic that exists

between the Dominant and his submissive, who is usually referred to as baby,

babygirl, little one, or other pet name that suggests and reinforces the

submissive’s childlike status in the relationship. The components of the relationship dynamic that a Daddy Dom seeks – no, craves - from his babygirl usually include the ability to trust absolutely and without reservation, a spirit of

wide-eyed innocence and playfulness, an eagerness for mentoring and guidance,

and the kind of gleeful no-holds-barred adoration and worship that only little

girls and puppies seem capable of demonstrating.

Lifestyle Daddy Doms should be willing to take their Daddy responsibilities beyond the bedroom. That can mean helping their babygirls to make the kinds of

decisions that would be difficult for an adult, spending an evening watching her

favorite cartoons, reading stories aloud to her, brushing her hair, or just holding

her when she is frightened or feeling down. It can also require loads of patience,

which may be needed when doing things like shopping, explaining things,

disciplining, or dealing with little tantrums. Any Dominant who might be

considering the Daddy Dom lifestyle should seriously consider all of the aspects

of being in this kind of relationship, and not just the pervy ones.

The FemDom Mistress

The FemDom Mistress is something of an anomaly in the categorization of

Dominants, for the simple reason that while practically all of the other

categorizations of Doms are gender-neutral, the FemDom is always a dominant

woman who makes the most of a unique combination of force and sexual role

reversal. The FemDom, who may prefer either male or female submissives, is

also sometimes referred to as a Domme, Domina, Dominatrix, or Mistress.

Traditional FemDom BDSM scene activities include pegging (anal intercourse

utilizing a strap-on dildo), face-sitting, forced feminization of male submissives,

CBT (cock and ball torture), forced felching (orally sucking semen out of a person’s anus. Yes, there really is a word for that), tie-and-tease play, forced

orgasm, orgasm deferral or denial, various forms of physical or verbal

humiliation, and sexual sadism in general. Though it isn’t necessarily a requisite

part of a FemDom’s repertoire, there is often a significant element of misandry,

or hatred of men, involved, whether real or role-played.

A sub-category of FemDom is the FinDom, which is a contraction of Financial

Dominant. A FinDom expects her submissives to support her financially by

paying tribute to her in the form of cold hard cash or lavish gifts. She typically

maintains an online wish list of items that she hopes someone will purchase for

her. Submissives who show their devotion to a FinDom by paying this tribute

usually do so without any expectation of receiving anything in return except,

perhaps, scorn and continued exploitation. It should come as no surprise to

anyone that some FinDoms are more authentic than others. How do you

recognize the phonies? They’re the ones posting photos taken at their trailer


Recent Posts

See All


bottom of page